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Hello there,

I lived with a man for 8 months and thought we would get married.  We put several thousands of dollars on my credit cards over these 8 months as he barely had a job and I haven’t been able to find one.  Didn’t know this till much later that he had a severe sexual addiction among other things, didn’t want to seek help so I kicked him out.  He now says he doesn’t hold any responsibility for helping me pay back what we put on my credit cards for those 8 months.  He paid a fraction while we were living together but I have now been saddled with the bulk of it.  Do I have ANY recourse now?  It happened in AZ (where I live) he moved back to CA and is now mooching off his grandparents.  Thank you so much for your help!

ANSWER:

Elizabeth,

Unfortunately, there is no real recourse for you regarding the credit card bills you have been left with. Since the purchases were made on your credit cards and you authorized the purchases at the time, the credit card company will hold you responsible for the payment.  Especially since you stated that you both (we) made the charges on the credit cards.

If you had a promissory note or some kind of proof that your boyfriend intended on or said he would pay back the money or if you had proof that he was making payments for the purchases on your credit card, you may have been able to sue him in small claims. Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like that any of that applies to your situation.

The only recourse you have will not repay your bills, but can be related to a lesson learned. I guess considering the issues your boyfriend had, you may be able to look at it in the respect that at least you don’t have him around anymore and you didn’t marry him. Sometimes the lesson costs quite a bit, but in the end it’s priceless.

As an added note, this is actually something that occurs quite frequently. People allow their significant others to charge purchases on their credit cards and take out loans for even cars, and when the relationship sours, one person is stranded with the bills. So, if that helps any, at least you aren’t alone.

I would suggest explaining the situation to the credit card companies and seeing if you qualify for a hardship program to lower the rates and the monthly bills. If you are still unemployed, you may be able to have them decreased quite a bit.

Apologies for your situation and hope it works out.

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